Thursday, October 2, 2008
DISCIPLESHIP...NOW!!
Discipleship now...I really have no concept of what a d-now really is haha, but it has the word discipleship in it and therefore it's relevant right? I don't know, I just like the name. When I hear it I think of some old teacher staring at me with her face all scrunched up in frustration, arms waving through the air and eyes lasering a hole right through my heart screaming "DISCIPLESHIP....NOW!!!" Sometimes I wonder if that's the closest human approximation of what God feels when we don't follow his commands. Like he's sitting there making it so incredibly obvious what we can do to glorify Him in our individual lives, and yet we are just sitting there zoned out thinking "When's lunch?" or "I wonder if lasering is really even a word?" or "Why the heck is this even relevant?" If I can't even handle the frustration I feel with myself over all this, then how must God feel? I know that I can't really make these judgements on how God "feels" haha but I guess when I do make these kinds of judgements it helps me realize how stupid I'm being. Last Connector was all about discipleship and here I am halfway through it finding myself completely zoned out and not having any idea what I'm supposed to be getting out of it. Why can't I focus for even 10 minutes on something as important as God? I don't know, maybe I really am ADD and then I'd have a name to call it, but I really think I'm just not focused enough on what I need to be focused on. That's why writing things down is so important for me, and also why the sheet of paper that Cyndi handed out last Connector helped me collect my thoughts so much. It may seem trivial to receive a piece of paper with "I am becoming a disciple...I make disciples...in the way of Jesus" on it, but to me it was incredibly important. Cyndi talking about different people who just seem to know everything about everything and people who just know everyone really made me think about what kind of person I am. How am I becoming a disciple? How am I making disciples? And how am I doing this in the way of Jesus? I'm not sure if I have any definite answers yet, but I do feel like I've been resistant to becoming a disciple of the right people or right things lately. I almost would say I'm trying to be a disciple of myself lately and I'm really not OK with that. I say that I want to make disciples, even if that means putting myself out on a chopping block and risking my own security, but do I actually act like that? Sure, I work hard to increase my ring of friendship for my own benefit, but when do I even consider what God wants me to do? (He wants me to know haha...He's yelling it my direction) And why do I make it about my so called "ring of friendship" instead of recognizing the amazingly meaningful relationships I could be building? I don't know it just made me think on a tangent and so I thought maybe someone else might be thinking similar things. It's so easy to feel like we're the only ones going through things, even when we're hit over the head multiple times with examples of why we're not. If anyone took the time to read my randomness I'd love to hear opinions or just random thoughts or even completely irrelevant information. :-)
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3 comments:
Discipleship now...I don't have much of an idea as to what that is either. Never have been to one. I do understand what it's like to be frustrated with myself because I think that I'm not obeying God's command to disciple others as well as I should be. Thing is, we don't have to handle that frustration. We're forgiven. Galatians 5:1 says "Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage." In other words, don't let your sins and frustrations hold you down! Galatians 5:13 adds to this, "For you, bretheren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another". I can't speak to exactly what God feels when we disobey Him, but I do know that He loves us and because of that love He allowed Christ to die on the cross for us! God calls us to receive that love and, in turn, pour it out on others.
As for sticking our neck out there to disciple others, it does require that we be intentional about what we're doing. We have to look for opportunities to build up the faith of others, and we have to trust that God will be with us every step of the way. I'm not going to lie, it can be scary and difficult. There are many, many times when I don't take an opportunity to build a new relationship because I don't want to step out of my circle of friends. And afterward, I realize what I missed out on. I'm right there with you. The fact that it bothers you is great, because that means the Holy Spirit is inside you and is trying to show you that there's a better way. Spend time with God, talk to Him, and most importantly keep your eyes, ears, and heart open to what God would have you to do. Again, not easy, because the comforts of this life have a very strong pull on us, but the joy that comes from following God is far greater than anything that this world has to offer.
I honestly have no idea how to put into words what is going through my head right now, but I do know that so much of what you are journeying through right now is completely reflected in my life. Discipleship to me has become something comfortable. I grow with my friends and I grow with myself, but those outside my "ring of friendship" are left to fend for themselves. I constantly find myself justifying my complacency and stagnation saying things like, "Oh, well I've already formed some strong relationships, so I should focus on those." As if Jesus was like "Ok, I found my 12 disciples, so my ministry is complete. See you in Heaven."
But what if our ring of friendship is a community we use to invite others into our lives, not a retreat from making new disciples? What if that ring of friends is the support and comfort we need as we do put ourselves on the chopping block? One thing God has been yelling, screaming, hollering, and any other form of obnoxiously loud communication, at me through these past few weeks is that I was not made to live alone. I was not made to go hide in my room when a problem comes along that I am scared to deal with. Those times I retreat to myself are the times I fail. This goes with my attitude towards discipleship. When I start having thoughts like "I need to not focus on the group of people I am comfortable with. I need to go make new relationships, new disciples." These are the times I fail, because I am completely ignoring the enormous blessing that is my "ring of friendship". Yes, there are times when taking a step out of our comfort zone is called for in making new disciples, but our ring of friendship should not be ignored. It should be encouraged to join in our vulnerability. It should be there to comfort us when we are overwhelmed by taking that step out.
I guess I'll stop now, I'm pretty sure I'm keeping Patrick awake with my blinding computer light (sorry Patrick). That's my life right now. Thanks for being so open with what is going on with you right now, it's a huge encouragement.
thank you guys so so much for being willing to be honest in your responses...that means so much to me to know that other people are going through similar things or at least relate to what i'm saying...you guys are so encouraging and thank you so much for that...i agree david...i hope for the bcm blog's sake that everyone can continue to be completely honest on here cause i think that we definitely will continue to have some really great conversations if we do
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