social christianity

here's a question to throw out to anyone who reads this...do you have to enjoy being around people in order to be a christian? does feeling like being around people is a huge effort and huge sacrifice make you less of a person? if you purposely avoid people so you don't have to go through the agony of making small talk and having to deal with their problems along with your own, does that make you incapable of following God's plan for your life? Would God ever make someone incapable of normal human action as part of His great plan? Why does christianity always seem to only be for those who are social and outgoing? How can someone glorify God if they are constantly alone? Is it possible that God planned it that way? Is there ever a time when someone putting other people before themselves can look like that person taking alone time?

maybe? or totally ridiculous...

Jesus is not a wimp.

there's a lot to be said for beach reach this past week...but i'm too tired to accurately portray how amazing the experience was for me

but just to start you off...as a little teaser i guess...here are some points that really hit home with me this past week (i won't even try to start in on all that we actually experienced and learned and discovered and all the people we met....it's too huge and it deserves its own post...these are just some things that really hit me during the worship time...thought i'd share)

"You are not without direction if you are without answers." -- I / we question God constantly...just because we don't get straight forward answers in our minds doesn't mean He's not guiding us.

"When you wake up in the morning, you are responsible for glorifying God and proclaiming His glory." -- when was the last time that was the first thing you thought of when you woke up...or the biggest priority you had throughout the day? yeah, me too

The speaker stated that when he made a commitment for Christ, he didn't think about eternity. What drew him to the gospel was that day in and day out his life could have purpose, hope,...
--crazy - and personally i think that's true for a lot of people

He also said something along the lines of that the creativity of some people is even unimaginable for us (his example was Disney and all the creativity involved in all things Disney), so why is it so strange for God to have unfathomable greatness? Why is it so strange for us to not understand why God does what He does or to not fully understand all He is?

Worship was so filled with joy - everyone seemed so incredibly pumped up to be in a room worshiping God and experiencing His crazy awesomeness...do you think sometimes we lose that perspective at the BCM? When was the last time you were so excited about what God was doing in your life and just so excited to be worshiping God that you couldn't help but jump up and down or shout for joy? Why aren't we more "crazed" for God? Why do we settle for small amounts of Him each day -- we should never have enough of Him...right?

How cool would it be if even half the people who regularly attended some sort of BCM event would say (and truly mean this) to God: "God, I will do somehting different. I will enact Your change." -- what if instead of trying to plan our own change, we really followed what He had planned -- talk about the easy way out...all we have to do is listen and act out the change He already has planned...but crap...those listening and acting parts are what get us every time

Let's never say through our actions, "That's too much Jesus for me." Let's never settle for a small Jesus...afterall...."Jesus is not a wimp."

I wish I could accurately portray all of that better for everyone who wasn't in panama city with us. The real amazingness was in the relationships formed and practiced...maybe another night i'll tackle expressing those


thanks so much for all of the prayer - God heard and God moved in crazy ways

Covering Fire

Spring break has come at last! We now sit in the middle of a time of rest which we have no doubt waited a long time for. We as a BCM have scattered to the four winds it seems.

I am very fond of the spring break trips we as a campus ministry continue to organize every year. My freshman year, I spent my first real mission trip with the then BSU in Bay St. Lous. I was challenged in ways I hadn't yet dreamed of and built some strong friendships that continue to this day. Last year also I spent spring break with the BCM in the Road Trip group where we served and fellowshipped both locally and abroad. The appalachian trail was particularly inspiring.

This year, three groups of people in particular come to mind. We have sent out three spring break groups:

Beach Reach in Panama City
Asheville
Numbered which is traveling all over the place

And now as we are scatted, I feel, it is time to broach the subject of prayer.

Perhaps you are like me in that you have had difficulty in committing to pray for people. I know there have been more than one occasion in my life when, emotionally stirred by a sermon or message, I made some committment to pray for missionaries over seas or a divine work in foreign lands. Of course, these commitments have often fallen flat.

But that isn't time to kick ourselves for forgetting to pray in the past.

It is these poignant times that I often think of prayer as a sort of "covering fire" we can give to our brothers and sisters. Not everyone may make the charge into enemy territory or at least, not in the same place. There comes a time to support our fellows from a distance. Though we may not be able to stand side by side with each other this week, we can pray for each other, whether we are serving on the beach, travelling from Tennessee to Alabama, or merely spending time away from being busy.

I don't ask for a commitment to pray every day or a promise that may or may not be kept. I only ask that you pray. Go ahead and do it now (why wait?). Pray that God will do a mighty work, keep his people safe, and grow us all this week. If you've got time, spend some time in quiet. If you don't, just pray as you go. Pray again as you remember.

I look forward to hearing the stories when we return. But don't think that the time to pray for each other belongs only to one week in the spring when school is off. Maybe, just maybe, we can keep up the covering fire when the spring break has long passed.

survival instincts

Why are you a christian? and not the church answer...not the answer that you feel you should say...but seriously...what first motivated you to want to put someone else in charge of your life...why the heck would you ever want to put all of your trust in someone / some thing you can't even see or touch or sometimes even feel...what's in that for you?...why have we done it? why are we christians?

my answer is selfish...i became a christian for completely selfish reasons...because i had to...because if i hadn't accepted christ...if i hadn't given my life over to someone else...anyone else besides me...i wouldn't make it day to day, month to month, year to year without crashing and maybe not making it back out of the hole...my motivation was a survival instinct somewhere deep inside of me that drew me towards the one thing - one person - that could save me from destruction...and what an awesome instinct that turned out to be

do you ever wonder if everyone else feels that same instinct...but instead of turning to an awesome savior they turn to literally anyone else...a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a parent, a friend, an enemy, a drug, an activity, anything...so what makes me any different from someone who felt the same things, but was just drawn to something different? why do i have God to control my life and they have fallible humanity to lead theirs...what makes me any different? i'm not any more deserving...less so almost...was it the people around me gently guiding me there? did they give me God as an option if nothing else, so at least i could consider Him as 'one of the worthy keepers' of my life?...

what's your answer? why did you do it? why'd you first take the plunge?

"the other side"

So I've been reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand lately and well it's a messed up book in a way haha but I love it. I love the way she writes and the way she pulls things out of the world that I never would have been able to pull out or express that way. Anyway, recently I came across a a section that really hit home for me and I thought I might share it. Here's a really crappy catch-you-up for anyone who hasn't read the book (anyone who has...feel free to correct me if my summary is wrong)

This guy, Mallory, meets one of the main characters, Roark,and basically Roark refuses to accept society and refuses to accept that he must be a cookie cutter mold and refuses to stab other people in the back but insists that his own individualism and own individual creativity in architecture is far superior to any of the crap architecture that the other "sellouts" are giving the public, because the other guys are just giving society what they want...not what is actually great, ingenious architecture...for example, Roark works within simplicity...everything is created for a purpose and serves that purpose while being beautiful as a result almost...not stupid ornaments everywhere to make a building seem more expensive...not architectural ideas stolen from everyone else....anyway...haha Mallory is similar in his creative genius but with sculpture instead of architecture...and so Roark asks Mallory to make a sculpture for a temple that Roark has been hired to design and build...and when Roark finds Mallory, Mallory is basically going crazy in his apartment - he hasn't had work in forever and has basically suffered because no one wants him...nothing he does is considered amazing...although Roark thinks it is...Mallory has become an outcast, as has Roark, but Mallory is younger and weaker than Roark and he goes almost insane and can't handle not sculpting and can't handle seeing all the crap around him that is created with no personal investment in the project, just the goal of making money and getting rich, etc....

So with that in mind, I came across this part where Roark addresses Mallory saying:

“Now,” he said, “talk. Talk about the things you really want said. Don’t tell me about your family, your childhood, your friends or your feelings. Tell me about the things you think.”
Mallory looked at him incredulously and whispered:
“How did you know that?”
Roark smiled and said nothing.
“How did you know what’s been killing me? Slowly, for years, driving me to hate people when I don’t want to hate….Have you felt it, too? Have you seen how your best friends love everything about you-except the things that count? And your most important is nothing to them, nothing, not even a sound they can recognize. You mean, you want to hear? You want to know what I do and why I do it, you want to know what I think? It’s not boring to you? It’s important?”

I think I can really relate to the way Mallory feels in this...recently I have hated everyone around me for no reason...and it's been horrible and I hate that I hate so much...and there's no reason for it...but I've been trying to pull myself out of it...is this a normal feeling? Do other people feel this way sometimes? I'm not sure there's a solution to it even...maybe I'm a Mallory who needs to find a Roark haha...or maybe everyone feels this way at times but no one will admit it because we feel like we have to be happy 24/7 to show people that christians are always happy and never hurt. NOT TRUE...why do I feel like this is such a goal in today's Christian society? Am I alone in this thought?

Later Mallory goes on to talk about Roark and how Roark found him utterly destroyed and torn down. Mallory says,
"I'm wiser than you are about some things, because I'm weaker. I understand-the other side. That’s what did it to me … what you saw yesterday.”

I think this is huge...I can't speak for everyone else but I know that I know what it feels like to be completely down and feel like there is literally no hope...Christians arent supposed to feel that way...they're always supposed to have hope in God...and I do...but sometimes I dont...is that ok? In a way does it make me stronger? Do other people share in this or am I unique?...and I guess I feel like as a new christian I know what it feels like too to live in the nonchristian world and in one way that makes me weaker sorta - I dont have all these experiences with God for all these years...but in another way it makes me stronger...makes me understand what happens to everyone to an extent and makes me realize how horrible it is and how much we all need God...makes me realize that God caring even a little bit is amazing...and that even if we're dealing with crap while trusting God...it's 10 times better than dealing with crap without God. When people are too strong do they become weaker in a way cause they can't understand what it feels like to hurt?...or they can't understand the weaker people?...or they get too confident?...or get too self sufficient or something? I think so sometimes. ...in a way I relate to being the weaker, "wiser" one...and on the other hand I relate to being the stronger, "less wise" one...I think maybe we all do...Why do we feel the need to hide this pain and all these trials from our friends, from ourselves, or even try to hide it from God...Life isn't all smiles and giggles...but doesn't that make life just that much more amazing and unpredictable and fullfilling? Am I totally off on this? I might be...but at the same time I might not...

The book of Job wasn't included in the Bible for nothing right? Should we yearn to understand "the other side"?

ps - it's gorgeous outside! times might not always be easy...and God might not always make life any easier and God won't always "make everything better" - in fact I sorta feel like that rarely happens...how would we grow otherwise? - ...but days like these make me smile :-)